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A one-sided effort can't improve a problem-plagued marriage. "If one is gun-shy, or not on the same page emotionally, there will be disconnection." Recognize if you're alone in keeping the marriage afloat and seek a pro's help in getting your hubby on board to repair what needs work. Assumptions breed hostility, says marriage therapist Carin Goldstein, creator of Be The Smart "Instead of creating a dialogue with your spouse, you're writing the script in your head," she says.

If your husband suggests watching your spending, don't immediately snap back about his pricey season tickets to Knicks games.

Focus on your spouse's top attributes, which likely outnumber old what's-his-name's, and communicate problems instead of making comparisons.

Maybe your exes mistreated you, and you're just waiting for your spouse to do the same thing.

"If you aren't into it, it's your responsibility to understand why.

It might be physiological or emotional, but addressing the problem shows you care." Talk to your doctor about revving your sex drive.

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